Meep Meep

I recently read an article that recommends "children" who are around 100lbs to be in a child seat for their safety. Aside from my natural inclination to roll my eyes and hark back to the days when newborn babies didn't even have car seats and they lived just fine, I have to feel a bit strange because according to that article, I should be in a fucking car seat. No, I'm not a child, although I act like one, but at 5'6'' and 102lbs, I'm about the size of a child who, apparently, should be driven around in a car seat for my own safety.

Yes, I know. I'm disgustingly skinny. There's no sugar coating it and there's certainly no way around it.

I also know to never let the words "I'm fat" fall out from my mouth around any female whatsoever, unless she's smaller than me and even then it always just launches into this diatribe of all the things the other woman is insecure about and shifts into a tournament of compliment fishing, which I suck at by the way. I'm not saying I'll never say the words "I feel fat," but feeling fat and thinking you are fat are taken in very different ways.

What irks the shite out of me is how people do look at you when you say anything about your physique as if being naturally Ethiopian thin absolves you from having any self-conscious feelings about your body. Sure, I don't look at a 300lb woman and long for the copious amount of rolls she has coming from places I had no idea humans even stored fat, like wrists, but I do look at a woman whom is my height and around 140lbs and has a shape to her. You'd kill to be a size 0, I'd kill to have hips and breasts that aren't reminiscent of thumbtacks sitting in a wall.

I'd kill to look healthy, because for as much as I eat and as healthy as I am {I am an avid kayaker, surfer, and snowboarder afterall}, most people look at me and think eating disorder. I can thank Nicole Richie and her skeleton crew for that assumption and the now omnipresent magnifying glass surrounding shapeless, disgustingly-skinny, women, but it's rather obnoxious having people look at you with total envy, because they want to be your size, or total disgust, because they assume after you finish your meal you'll be going to the restroom to see it for yet another time.

Oh, and now I'm supposed to be in a car seat.