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I'm not sure what is more disturbing, the fact I just ate an entire pint of Ben'n'Jerry's Chubby Hubby ice cream, an entire box of girls scout cookies, and a king size Twix, or that my mum actually called to ask me how to use lube. In her mind she thinks sexual education actually was education in the ways of having good sex, and not what it is in reality: a way to scare you out of ever letting a penis/vagina come near you and a crash course in how to place a condom on a banana. I hear they ejaculate something mighty.
Regardless, my mother asked me how to use lube to maximize her pleasure during the diddy because my father got a few Viagra from my grandfather who recently just got married.
All these mental images are in two words: not cool. Somebody hold me.
Regardless, my mother asked me how to use lube to maximize her pleasure during the diddy because my father got a few Viagra from my grandfather who recently just got married.
All these mental images are in two words: not cool. Somebody hold me.
Labels: holy shite
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3 People Who Bitched:
It's sad that your grandfather and parents probably get more action in a week than I have all year.
*sigh*
I'll definately hold you, though.
Let's all get in a big pile.
Tell your mom that the sex shops carry the best lube, as someone over 40, I'd recommend something that is silicon-based.
Just wait, you'll be here someday.
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