Just Like Eating Glass
Portland, Oregon doesn't strike fear in the hearts of anyone. It's about as plain vanilla as a city can be, and aside from the benefit of being able to euthanize the fuck out of yourself when you're already old and on your death bed, there's nothing extraordinary about this place. Sure, you can surf, snowboard, enjoy the perfect 21*C weather {70*F for you Celsius haters} nearly year round, but as far as excitement goes it ranks slightly above retirement home.
Oregon is a retirement home, it's just instead of old people, we have hippies who are too hardcore to make the trek down to the land of liberal nut-jobs, California. I think Oregon, at one point if not still, had the highest number of disaffected homeless youth in the entire country, and that's something you can certainly tell, but crime has never really been an issue. Least not in my mind. Avery, however, did insist that we get "secure" parking at a whopping price of $120.00 a month, and I wasn't about to argue with the boy from the rough streets of Washington DC: Crime is rampant there and I've just learned to accept the fact that he is one anal retentive fucker when it comes to safety. Thus, we live in the Fort Knox of apartment buildings that offers a night guard and a supposed inability to enter the building without a key or someone within the building letting you in, and park in the parking garage of our apartment complex which offers the perk of surveillance cameras, and it all adds up in our monthly rent. Sounds pretty fucking safe, right?
So, imagine my absolute delight when I walked down to my car tonight after a 10 hour work day, blou as shit, so I can go to band practice, walk up to the driver door and see something all over my seats. Ahh yes, I come to find out that the passenger window of my car has been completely shattered and my iPod is missing. Not only was the passenger window shattered, but it it was done by the very cunning method of throwing a fucking cinder block into my car. THERE IS GLASS EVERYWHERE. So much so, that when I was looking at my car to see what the fuckers had taken, I had glass stuck in my skin.
Cinder block+ passenger window= all they fucking took was my iPod. That's it. They left the book of 200 CDs I have sitting on the floor of the passenger seat, left the CDs that sit in the area under the stereo, left the CDs that were in my armrest compartment, and left the iBook that was in my glove compartment. Kind of begs the question: Who would go through the trouble of lifting a cinder block, throwing it at someones car, being bombarded by flying particles of glass, removing whatever glass was not shattered by the cinder block, only to reach in and take a fucking iPod. Also kind of begs the question: HOW THE FUCK DID SOMEONE DO THAT TO MY CAR WITHOUT ANYONE KNOWING?! How did someone get into the garage to begin with?
Anyway, Avery is working late at the lab today and I really would rather not bother him until I'm in a position to do more than just sit here fuming, so I called building's management and the best they could come up with as far as my course of action was to call the police.
Fantastic! I pay a shitload of money to park in this garage that is under constant surveillance, and they can't even flatter me with at least the false hope of them looking at the tapes to see what fucker did this and how they got in.
I suppose I shouldn't expect too much from a country that honestly puts priority in Oprah's opinion and what she "approves of" but has no clue where Belize is.
Oregon is a retirement home, it's just instead of old people, we have hippies who are too hardcore to make the trek down to the land of liberal nut-jobs, California. I think Oregon, at one point if not still, had the highest number of
So, imagine my absolute delight when I walked down to my car tonight after a 10 hour work day, blou as shit, so I can go to band practice, walk up to the driver door and see something all over my seats. Ahh yes, I come to find out that the passenger window of my car has been completely shattered and my iPod is missing. Not only was the passenger window shattered, but it it was done by the very cunning method of throwing a fucking cinder block into my car. THERE IS GLASS EVERYWHERE. So much so, that when I was looking at my car to see what the fuckers had taken, I had glass stuck in my skin.
Cinder block+ passenger window= all they fucking took was my iPod. That's it. They left the book of 200 CDs I have sitting on the floor of the passenger seat, left the CDs that sit in the area under the stereo, left the CDs that were in my armrest compartment, and left the iBook that was in my glove compartment. Kind of begs the question: Who would go through the trouble of lifting a cinder block, throwing it at someones car, being bombarded by flying particles of glass, removing whatever glass was not shattered by the cinder block, only to reach in and take a fucking iPod. Also kind of begs the question: HOW THE FUCK DID SOMEONE DO THAT TO MY CAR WITHOUT ANYONE KNOWING?! How did someone get into the garage to begin with?
Anyway, Avery is working late at the lab today and I really would rather not bother him until I'm in a position to do more than just sit here fuming, so I called building's management and the best they could come up with as far as my course of action was to call the police.
Fantastic! I pay a shitload of money to park in this garage that is under constant surveillance, and they can't even flatter me with at least the false hope of them looking at the tapes to see what fucker did this and how they got in.
I suppose I shouldn't expect too much from a country that honestly puts priority in Oprah's opinion and what she "approves of" but has no clue where Belize is.
Labels: shitballs
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1 People Who Bitched:
hey there, easy now.
I doubt that the shitbag who threw that block through your window watches much Oprah.
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